Marriage…this way???

Last year one of my female friend got married in a typical bollywood style with the entire dance, food and fashion extravaganza. You people know how marriages takes place now a days??? The marriage was arranged at some private farm house, 40 kms away from my home and that too on a weekday. After my office (my summer internship), I dressed up in flat fifteen minutes and speeded to reach the venue on time. But can you speed up on Mumbai’s roads even at ten in night?? I thought that the entire city population was criss-crossing it to reach their different venues on time. I reach late but not to worry, many came even later than me.

I had asked my friend why she decided on this venue so far off when her entire set of relatives stayed in the city. “I wanted my marriage to be different,” she said defensively. I didn’t get it though. How does it make different and does it look any better, after all it’s someone else’s property?

So we all were put up with so much of inconvenience, flooding the already congested roads to reach the venue just to eat variety of foods….but then how much are you going to eat, watch their family members dance to a parody of songs from bollywood blockbusters films and what not. Talking about the food which gets served in the marriages now a days would have definitely given big inferiority complex to the kings who lived and ruled us for generations for even they couldn’t have seen such a variety of food being laid out. But that’s becoming a mark of status but personally I feel that it’s a sheer waste of money and food.

Her engagement was a month back in a private club in the city itself; other than distributing sweets to the family members and other extended family members, there was nothing much to do. The groom side is well off too but they didn’t even blink once while taking gifts; rather they felt proud. In return, they only presented eleven boxes of sweets. No doubt it’s a profitable to have boys in our country. You can receive as much as you want and can even demand from the bride’s family without feeling a tinge of remorse. I would also mention something very personal. My neighbors were marwadi and when a daughter was born into their family, the only thing in the minds of her parents was that that they will have to start ‘saving’ money from now so that they could have enough to spend on a lavish wedding two decades later. You see this greed is endorsed by our society. It’s our culture!

At least 4-5k couples were going to get married on that particular day, being one of the most auspicious days of the year. I sometimes wonder why God had few days as auspicious in the year when he had 365 days in hand. It really beats me. I think for a successful marriage, one needs to adjust, compromise and give each other space. But then my understanding doesn’t get with the majority of the people. I mean, how many would agree with me to spread their marriage dates over the year? There are 365 days to have your marriage peacefully. Anyways, many could not reach the venue on time and had to eat roadside food at local highway dhabas; many had to attend 3-4 marriages and they missed all.

Why do we have to call 1000 people to witness an occasion that should be exclusively for the boy and the girl? Every time a marriage happens in a family, the most important persons, the bride and the groom takes a back seat and the rest of family enjoys and have a good time. Poor thing, with so many rituals and so many people to attend, I wonder they are left with any stamina to do anything else in the night???

I think it’s better to call close friends and relatives from both the sides after the marriage and the split the expenses. The money saved by both the parties can be used to set up their house..kind of combined dowry..let the boys’ chip in with the money too. No dowry cases will come up then and also the courts will have reduced burden of such cases.

Since girls are entitled to have equal share in parental property, its time they refused to take dowry which was given in lieu of parental property. Either you accept the dowry or demand property?? You can’t have your cake and eat it too? Can you? Should you?

Adios

ciao

Dhaval D.